Creative ways to say “I love you”

Creative ways to say “I love you” - They’re three little words, but man, are they powerful ones! Telling someone that you feel this way is always quite a moment — some people, however, go above and beyond the call of duty and concoct romantic gestures that are incredibly thoughtful and personal. Let these stories serve as some food for thought if you want a new way to express how much someone means to you.

I got my fave sweets from my sweetie

“One night, my date and I went to the movies and I was talking about how I only liked pink Starburst — there were so many other horrid flavors (orange got a particularly harsh review). So the next time he saw me, he gave me a huge box full of pink Starburst with a letter in it explaining that he realized he loved me when I was being absolutely unreasonable about something as dumb as a candy... and he still adored me. I still remember that gesture to this day.” — Jacynth LeMaistre, 29, Palo Alto, CA

He put himself to the test... but we both won

“This guy and I had been casually dating and were slowly growing to like each other. But I think both of us were too bashful to come out and say so… that is, until one afternoon when we were lying on the beach. I was reading Cosmopolitan, and there was this quiz in it called: “Is It Love Or Lust For You?” Surprisingly, he volunteered to take the quiz — and answered all the questions (except, notably, one about whether he favored soccer over a girlfriend) in a very ‘it’s love’ kind of way. By the end of the test, I had my answer!” — Sandra Heikkinen, 30, San Francisco, CA

Great minds think alike, even when they don’t follow the same morning ritual

“I don’t drink coffee, but the man I was dating did — so one morning after I’d spent the night at his place, I brewed a pot. Surprised, he asked me why, given that I wouldn’t be drinking it. Tongue in cheek, I told him it was my way of saying, ‘I love you.’ He joked that I should do it more often, and so I did. It turned into this thing where every time I made him coffee it was me saying, ‘I love you.’ Sometimes I’d do it after a fight, and it would always get a smile. One day I was out running errands at Target and I found myself in appliances, where there was a coffee grinder. So as a laugh, I picked it up and took it home to him. When I gave him the gift, he started laughing hysterically. I didn’t understand why until he went to his closet and pulled out a coffee grinder! It turns out he’d bought me one, too — so I could tell him that I loved him more often!” — Sharlene Smithers, 32, Vancouver, BC

I was there with her in spirit — and in her heart

“My girlfriend was kind of a high-strung individual, but I’d never seen her as bad as the morning she was headed for a huge job interview. It was something she really wanted, so she was obsessing over every little detail of her appearance and talking to herself in the mirror, practicing what she wanted to say. So I watched her leave in a flurry of anxiety, waited until about five minutes before she was scheduled to go in, then sent her a text message, because I knew she’d look at her phone before she went in to turn off the ringer. The text said, ‘I believe in you. You’re amazing, talented, and an asset to any company that is willing to take you on. I’m right there with you — break a leg!’ She said the text came in at just the perfect time, and it calmed her down to know I supported her. She aced the interview and got the job… and knew how I felt about her, too.” — Adam Grayson, 26, Granada Hills, CA

His super-thoughtful care package revealed his feelings for me

“One day I was so sick that I couldn’t move off of the couch — I really was that weak — and I had to take a couple days of PTO. I was dreading how I was going to pass the time (seeing as I’m not big on soap operas and game shows), until one morning when my boyfriend dropped by on his way to work. He brought me a box filled with all of my favorite chick flicks — Legally Blonde, The Notebook, 10 Things I Hate About You, Working Girl, When Harry Met Sally…, etc. The list was endless — and he thoughtfully included some trashy romance novels, gossip magazines, and cold meds designed to knock me out if all of that didn’t work. Then he called and checked on me throughout the day. It was all so sweet, and not only did it show he cared for me, but that he listened — that pile of movies alone was the proof.” — Jennifer Dougall, 30, Toronto, ON

His attentiveness kept me feeling safe and sound during our first vacation together

“My boyfriend and I had been dating for only a couple of months when we decided to take a trip to Las Vegas together. You know those in-room safes they stick in the closet? I always put really important stuff in there — like most of the contents of my wallet — because I don’t like taking more than one piece of ID, some cash, and a credit card in my pocket when I hit the town. We were getting ready to go out for the night when I went to the safe and couldn’t open it. I asked him if he’d programmed it already and he said, ‘Yeah, the code is 0602.’ I was stunned — that was my birth date! When I told him that, he said, ‘I know’ and gave me a little smile, then continued getting ready for the evening. I was flabbergasted for most of the night, especially considering I think I had mentioned my birth date maybe once in passing at that point. That small gesture showed me that not only did he pay attention to what I was saying, but that I was in his heart and his mind, too.” — Jane Miller, 31, Los Angeles, CA

The way to both of our hearts? Through our stomachs, of course!

“My girlfriend and I have a silly little way of saying ‘I love you’ to each other. We each prefer to pack a lunch for work, and we usually make sandwiches. Instead of appointing one of us as the designated sandwich maker, we made a pact: No matter if we’re at her place or mine, whoever gets ready and downstairs first gets to tackle this daily chore. Somewhere along the way, a sweet little tradition began: We leave love notes in each other’s lunch bags. Sometimes it’s just a little slip of paper saying ‘I love you’ or ‘Last night was soooo hot!’ Other times it’ll say something just plain silly, like ‘Your love is better than salted, cured meats!’” ( yahoo.match.com )

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How partners perceive each other's emotion

How partners perceive each other's emotion - New research from Baylor University psychologists has shown that how each person perceives the other partner's emotion during a conflict greatly influences different types of thoughts, feelings and reactions in themselves.

Dr. Keith Sanford, a clinical psychologist and an associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor, College of Arts and Sciences, and his research team studied 105 college students in romantic relationships as they communicated through different arguments over an eight-week period.

Sanford focused on how emotion changed within each person across episodes of relationship conflict. They found demonstrated links between different types of emotion, different types of underlying concern, and different types of perceived partner emotion.

Sanford distinguished between two types of negative emotion as "hard" and "soft." "Hard" emotion is associated with asserting power, whereas "soft" emotion is associated with expressing vulnerability. Sanford's research also identified a type of underlying concern as "perceived threat," which involves a perception that one's partner is being hostile, critical, blaming or controlling. Another type of concern is called "perceived neglect," which involves a perception that one's partner is failing to make a desired contribution or failing to demonstrate an ideal level of commitment or investment in the relationship.

Sanford said the results show that people perceive a threat to their control, power and status in the relationship when they observe an increase in partner hard emotion and they perceive partner neglect when they observe an increase in partner flat emotion or a decrease in partner soft emotion.

Both perceived threat and perceived neglect, in turn, are associated with increases in one's own hard and soft emotions, with the effects for perceived neglect being stronger than the effects for perceived threat.

"In other words, what you perceive your partner to be feeling influences different types of thoughts, feelings and reactions in yourself, whether what you perceive is actually correct," Sanford said.

"In a lot of ways, this study confirms scientifically what we would have expected. Previously, we did not actually know that these specific linkages existed, but they are clearly theoretically expected. If a person perceives the other as angry, they will perceive a threat so they will respond with a hard emotion like anger or blame. Likewise, if a person is perceived to be sad or vulnerable, they will perceive a neglect and will respond either flat or soft."

Sanford said some of the most interesting results in the study pertain to a complex pattern of associations observed for soft emotion. As expected, partner soft emotion was associated with decreased concerns over neglect, whereas self soft emotion was associated with increased concerns over neglect. Sanford said this is consistent with the idea that soft emotion is a socially focused emotion, often triggered by attachment-related concerns, and that expressions of soft emotion signal one's own desire and willingness to invest in a relationship.

The study has been published in the journal Personal Relationships . ( indiatimes.com )

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7 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating on You

7 Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating on You - Veteran San Diego private investigator Patrick Schneemann, of Western Investigations, can describe what his company does in three simple words: "We catch cheaters."

Schneemann uses sophisticated surveillance equipment and other tools to gather evidence of infidelity. If you're worried your spouse is cheating, Schneeman suggests looking for these seven telltale signs.

Seven Signs Your Spouse Is Cheating on You (ABC News)

1. Your spouse is overly protective of a cell phone. "They may password protect it. They may never let it (away from) their side. At nighttime they sleep with it. You know? That's a big sign," Schneemann said.

2. Your spouse frequently deletes text messages from his or her cell phone.

3. Your spouse is losing weight and working out more at the gym - it's a classic sign, Schneeman said, that still applies.

4. Another classic sign: The spouse claims to be working long hours.

5. Your spouse is spending large sums of money - more than he or she used to in the past.

6. He smells like perfume.

7. Something just doesn't feel right. "Trust your gut. Trust how you feel," Schneemann said. "Married couples are close…you're intimately close. You know each other. And (you) know when something's not right, when something's off in that relationship." ( ABC News )

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3 Ways to Alleviate Insecurity in You or Your Partner

Three Ways to Alleviate Insecurity in You or Your Partner - Relationships can infuse life into your life. In the best of circumstances, they support and encourage the partners to follow their dreams, be happier in their lives, and feel more confident. But for those who are riddled with insecurity, their relationships can feel more like quicksand than a solid, safe base from which they can grow. The smallest possibility that their partner may be slipping away from them can send them into a panic. Fortunately, this is a problem that both partners can help alleviate.

There are three actions that insecure people and their partners can take to help the insecure partner feel more secure in the moment and to develop a greater sense of security over time. These are:

Insecure partner: Choose an emotionally available partner.
Secure partner: Be emotionally available.

Everyone needs reassurance at some time or another. Likewise, insecure people are helped a lot by their partner responding sensitively to their distress. For their partners, this might mean allowing them to check in when they feel the need, reaching out to them when they know they are struggling with particular fears, or simply being supportive and comforting when they are distressed.


Insecure partner: Choose a partner who can be helpful without being controlling. Ask for support for your own efforts, clearly stating that you do not want your partner to take over.
Secure partner: Be supportive without taking over.

Insecure people are at risk for feeling inadequate, incompetent, and generally unsure of themselves. Because of this, they are helped more by partners who support their efforts than by those who get the job (whatever it is) done themselves. This kind of support enables them to develop confidence and improve their abilities while being able to work through problems or weaknesses with a positive mindset.


Insecure partner: Find a partner who is actively encouraging.
Secure partner: Actively encourage your partner to pursue interests.

People who feel insecure are likely to be tentative in pursuing interests, goals, and dreams because their fear of problems or failure looms large. However, their happiness is in part dependent on these pursuits, just as it is for everyone else. So it is particularly important for them to have partners who encourage and continue to support them in these areas.

If you are insecure, try the above advice. Find an emotionally available, supportive, and encouraging partner to help you develop a greater sense of security. If your partner is insecure, try offering these things and watch how it benefits your partner and your relationship. Or, if you have questions about this approach, please ask them in the discussion of this topic in the Relationships and Coping community – offering yourself the chance to grow and this community an opportunity to help.

If these suggestions are not new to you and you have tried them before, how have they worked? What suggestions do you have for those who struggle with insecurity or with a partner who is especially insecure? ( webmd.com )

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